December 31, 2013
Its new years eve, and for 2014, I decided to start something new. This blog is my something I am trying to get followers on. I really don’t care if I have any. I made this to be a place for me to write my thoughts, because I find that writing them down makes me feel better. I don’t want to take the risk of having one of my parents find a journal, so this was the next best thing.
Anyways, in 8th grade was when I really started to get bad. Although I did make some of the best friendships I have ever had, it was the start of a lot of bad things for me. That summer was the one time that I self harmed. I learned about how Demi Lovato had self harmed, and I realised that I was a lot like her, meaning that I should self harm too. So I did. I instantly regretted it. Not only because I was harming myself, but also because it brought out a lot of other things that I constantly struggle with.
Probably the biggest thing that has happened since then was me getting EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified). Im not anorexic or bulimic, but I have tried to starve myself and I’ve tried to make myself throw up. Currently, I put myself on very strict diets, and work out a lot. Over the holidays I ate a lot, and now I just feel really guilty.
Another thing that I struggle with is a lot of anxiety. I think I’m just really afraid of being judged. I have actually made excuses to not talk to my family or go to parties. However, when I have to give a speech in class, I have not problem.
I guess that is all I can talk about right now. I don’t know how often I will post on here, but it doesn’t really